Episode 55: Sordid Sentient Objects
You asked and we listened - we’re covering sentient object romance this week! We chat with Biblio Barbie about all things Sentient Objects, before diving into our favorite sentient object romances. Jess teaches us about objectophilia and Sarah chats about her new favorite video game: Date Everything. From doorknobs and beds, to vegetables and fruit punch, we’re getting sexy with it all. Hit play now!
Our guest this week:
Biblio Barbie
Instagram: biblio.barbie
She is a self proclaimed Diva of Dongs, prolific instagramer, writer of works such as Gagged by the Gerkin and Howls & Home Runs which Jess covered in our mascot episode, and of course she is a fellow monster fucker, welcome to the podcast Biblio Barbie!
What we covered this week:
Date Everything
You're stuck at home with no job and no hope, but a pair of magical glasses brings your house to life...are you ready to Date Everything?
Date Everything is a sandbox dating simulator set in the comfort of your own home, featuring 100 fully voice acted datable characters! Let the romance flow between your bed, smoke alarm and…*checks notes* Overwhelming Sense of Existential Dread?
Over 100 Dateable Objects
70,000 voicelines recorded
11,000 hand drawn images
Full voice cast of BANGERS
What we consumed:
Pounded by Produce - G.M. Fairy
A tale of veggies tempted to break their vows.
Fleeing a tumultuous past, Emily finds refuge at a kitchen job in a quiet countryside parish.
Robert and Laurent are two best friends with a bond that has crossed lines throughout their history but now walk the straight and narrow, giving their lives to their parish as priests.
One magical night under the harvest moon, Robert and Laurent experience a bizarre transformation: They wake up as a tomato and cucumber.
Emily brings these ripe and juicy vegetables into the kitchen, but instead of preparing a meal, she uses them for other, more carnal needs. Emily awakens something inside of the priests, who switch back and forth between their human and vegetable forms.
The three find themself in a steamy entanglement, unable to deny their primal desires. Will they fight their urges or break their vows and alter the course of their lives forever?
Cold Sweat - Vera Valentine
Fleeing college pressure, Jules heads home to rest, recharge, and figure out a plan before fall break ends. Eager to spend time with her mother and stepfather, there's one presence she's less thrilled about seeing: Red.
The sentient, smirking pitcher of Cherry Chill-Assist Punch was a huge pain in the glass. He'd been getting under her skin for two years now, ever since their parents' wedding day. Red's taste in entertainment and weirdly suggestive commentary were driving her crazy, a destination she was capable of finding all on her own.
With big life decisions looming, his antics shake up Jules' already-fragile peace, steering her towards a leisurely evening in her mom's new sauna. It seems like the perfect remedy for stress...until Red invites himself along. Close, steamy confines have a way of outing secrets, and Red has a huge one he can't keep on ice any longer.
Will Jules be able to resist her thirst for the unknown, or will the truth about her stepbrother refresh her perspective entirely?
Unhinged - Vera Valentine
Danger’s Come A-Knocking….
Someone’s been watching Tana closely, but he’s a lot closer than she realizes. From intimate moments to lazy afternoons on the couch, he’s secretly seen it all - and fallen for her along the way. The problem is that someone else is watching too, and his obsession with Tana is a lot more dangerous.
When a man claiming to be her front door enters her dreams to warn her about an imminent threat to her life, Tana initially chalks it up to her weird late-night snacks. But she rethinks things when her earnest visitor insists he’s also ready to protect her - in exchange for one hell of a favor.
When Tana trades her best line of defense for an unlikely supernatural ally, the threat lurking beyond her apartment hallway starts getting desperate as the law closes in. Can her inhuman companion save her from the worst of humanity, or is it too late for both of them?
Would we?
